Not a Kid
by Cleon
Summary: Spencer Reid has just joined the BAU, and everything seems to be going alright until he meets one agent who doesn't seem to like him no matter what. Can Reid convince the team that he's not just a kid? Casefic, rated T to be safe :
1. Nerves

**This is my first fan-fiction attempt, so I really would appreciate some helpful comments or criticisms, (no flaming please) and I hope you like it! I'm not sure if I should continue, or how long it will be… but will eventually become a case fic! Reid's POV.**

**I DO NOT OWN CRIMINAL MINDS. I'm sadly not awesome enough to… T.T**

**Enjoy! **

I don't think I had ever been this nervous before. Sure, there was the time I started college at age 12, or the time I decided to send my mom away to a mental hospital once I had officially become an adult. But still, this day ranked up there. I tried to tell myself that I was being irrational, because I hadn't even met the others on the team yet, but my hands wouldn't listen to reason and kept shaking as I pressed the button on the elevator to the desired floor. Statistics for elevator accidents raced through my head, and I hardly realized the doors had opened again, the little number at the top flashing the right floor number. I took a deep breath, clutched my satchel, and headed out into the unknown.

I laugh now as I look back, because I know the team so well and know they would never do anything to make my days be like those at college, but I didn't know that then. The only person I knew I could trust was Jason Gideon. He was the one who had helped me get this job, and he was in charge of the entire team. That at least made me relax a little, so I decided to stop by his office first, to get used to the area. I nearly bumped into a pretty blonde, who looked up from the files she was carrying and gave me a warm smile. I nervously smiled back, and asked, trying to keep my voice under control; "D-do you know where Jason Gideon's office is?"

She laughed a friendly laugh and replied, "Gideon? Of course! Just that way." She pointed to a door up some stairs. She looked at me curiously. "You a friend of his?"

"Yea, something like that..." I muttered, trying to act as friendly as I could. It wasn't working. She kind of shrugged, gave me a wave, and headed towards another door labeled 'Aaron Hotchner'. Why did that name sound familiar?

I shrugged off that stray thought and began walking in the direction the blonde had pointed. I felt even more nervous now, because I was sure that she thought I was weird, or at least not very polite. And I did not want people at the place I would be working at to think of me that way. Well, at least the impolite part. I admit I can seem pretty weird to other people. I paused just outside the door before knocking, and was rewarded with a familiar deep voice rasping, "Come in." I tentatively opened the door, and relaxed visibly when I saw the grinning face of Jason Gideon. For some reason he made me feel a lot more relaxed.

"Ahh, Doctor Reid!" He said, his eyes twinkling. I could tell he was glad I showed up, which made me feel even better. I was wanted... and by the best profiler in the world! Well, the best in my opinion. He nodded to me, and gestured at the seat in front of his desk. I accepted it, and placed my satchel automatically onto my lap. I carry that thing around for many purposes, and it's ended up feeling like an extra arm. I always have it there, and never really notice. But today it was packed to the brim, notebooks and text spilling out of the single flap. Gideon noticed this and shook his head, but there was laughter in his eyes.

"You know you don't need all that. You got enough of it crammed into your brain." I was about to reply with some kind of statistic or quote, I can't remember now, when a well-dressed man poked his head through the door to Gideon's office.

"Gideon, I have some files I'd like you to check out when you have time…" The man trailed off when he noticed me sitting there. I felt his gaze pierce through me, as if reading my thoughts. I honestly wouldn't put it past him if he could. Gideon smiled and motioned to me, lessoning the tension (or what I felt was tension) in the room from the man's sharp stare.

"Aaron, this is Doctor Reid. Doctor Reid, this is Special Agent Aaron Hotchner." Of course! How could I forget, Gideon had told me a bit about each team member before I had come to headquarters. Hotch's stare suddenly softened and he broke out into what could be called a polite smile.

"So you're the new kid huh?" He asked in a friendly manner, holding out his hand, which I in turn shook.

"Y-yea." I stammered, cursing at my own nerves. "Did you know that every forty seconds a child is reported missing in the United States? That means that over two thousand…"

"Better save that for a case, Doctor." Hotch interrupted, a small but real smile played across his face. For some reason he seemed amused by my sudden rambling. I stopped mid-sentence, and my mouth was still hanging open a bit. I have to admit that now, I probably did look pretty amusing. Hotch exchanged a knowing glance at Gideon, left the files he had brought with him in the first place, and left the office. I felt my face turning red, and tried to keep my embarrassment under control.

"He likes you." My efforts were interrupted by Gideon, who nodded in my direction. "Don't worry about it Reid, you'll get along fine with all of them. It takes an awful lot to make that man smile."

I looked at my feet, still not fully recovered from the awkward meeting. "I just don't want to be thought of as a kid." I said quietly, suddenly finding my plain and boring shoes to be the most interesting thing in the world.

Gideon chuckled a little, and replied, "Don't worry about that, Doctor Reid. Just wait 'till they all see you in action. It's hard not to respect that brain of yours."

I smiled a little, surprised at his praise. I decided to stop acting like a scared kid, and prove to my new team that I could be a valuable member.

"Come on, let me go round up the team so you can meet them all." Gideon said suddenly, interrupting me from my thoughts. I panicked a bit; I had never been good at meeting new people, let alone a whole team of people.

"T-That's OK, just give me some files or something to start working on…" I stammered, desperately thinking of a way to get me out of this one. But of course, Gideon picked this time as the best time not to hear me, and was already out the door before I stood up to follow reluctantly.


	2. Ghosts of the Past

**Thank you all for your wonderful reviews! I will try to stay as close as possible to the characters, I'm sorry if some of them seem a little off. This chapter is a long one because I might not be able to put up another one for quite a bit. **

**Don't worry, there will be some action starting soon. I'll try not to bore you too much!**

**I do NOT own Criminal Minds. No matter how badly I want to D:**

"So you're the new guy?"

I couldn't believe it. It was the blonde I had run into earlier. I guess I should have figured that one out myself, given the fact that she knew Gideon and because she was headed to Hotch's office… but… I must have been too nervous about screwing up on my first day to actually allow myself to think normally. I felt even worse now, because my first impression had probably not gone very well with her. But she didn't seem to notice, and instead stuck out her hand, grinning that motherly grin of hers." I'm Jennifer Jareau, but my friends call me J.J."

"Um… Hi… Agent Jareau." I replied, unsure of how to address her without looking like a fool.  
"Honestly, just call me J.J." She replied. I was a bit taken back by her response, I was completely set on the fact that she would think I had been rude, or at least a bit strange. Instead, she seemed to act like I hadn't acted funny at all, and I immediately knew that I liked her. And in a sense, she had already identified herself as a friend. My first couple minutes in the BAU and I already had made a friend. That was record timing for me, and was certainly not like my college experience. This made me perk up a bit, and become more excited about my new job.

"I'm Spencer Reid." I said, my muttering gone. We shook hands and she asked, "Would you like me to show you where your desk is?"

I complied, and we both walked over to a nicely sized desk with a very modern computer and plenty of drawers. I looked at my satchel, hoping that I would be able to fit all my things in the empty desk. J.J. followed my gaze and laughed in astonishment at the load.

"They told me you were a genius, but, _wow_!"

This woman just kept up the surprises. I could tell instantly that she wasn't mocking me, but was completely surprised at the bundle of knowledge I had crammed into the already bulging satchel. I smiled a bit, and shrugged. "I honestly didn't need to bring all of this with me… I just felt I should be prepared."

J.J. chuckled at this, and said, "Well, I never thought there was such a thing as over-preparing, but boy, you sure proved me wrong."

I smiled back before looking at the desk, trying to decide what I should actually use from my satchel.

Just then a laugh of disbelief interrupted my thoughts and a man behind me exclaimed, "You have _got_ to be kidding me."

I turned around to face a muscularly built, handsome looking dark skinned agent. Just from his appearance I grasped that he was obviously a jock, and a sudden alarm blared in my head. 'No…' I thought desperately to myself. 'Not here, not now…' I was NOT going to re-live my college years, especially not after my first day at my new job had started going along so well.

"Who sent a kid in to be part of our team?" The man asked, as if perplexed by the sure notion of a nerd in the FBI. "Seriously, J.J., tell me this is a joke."

J.J. threw the man an angry look, and crossed her arms. "No, Morgan, it's not a joke. Gideon picked him out himself. Take it up with Gideon if you really feel that strongly about this."  
Today seemed like a day of firsts for me. I had never, _ever, _had anyone stand up for me like that, so quickly and assuredly. Especially someone I had just met. But something inside me didn't feel so great about the fact that this person I had just met was sticking up for me. It just made me look even more like a kid. I knew from experience that no matter how much J.J. stood up for me, it would only deepen this man's immediate dislike in me. So, taking a deep mental breath, I stepped forward, in front of J.J. a little.

"My name's Spencer… Spencer Reid." I said, trying to keep my nerves under control. He was just a bully, and one that couldn't hurt me. At least not here. Not like they did at school… right? I shrugged my battling thoughts to the side. I couldn't be distracted by ghosts of my educational past. This was a new beginning, and supposed to be a better one.

"Yea, OK, pretty boy." Morgan retorted, still shaking his head. "Honestly, what good do you expect to do on the field? I mean, you're as scrawny as a bean pole!" He noticed Hotch walking past, and called out to him. "Hotch, man, tell me hiring this kid is a joke."

I had stiffened when Morgan had called me pretty boy, it gave me chills to think I had already got another stupid nickname, and a pretty embarrassing as well. Looking back, I realize if I had just ignored Morgan's jibes, he would have eventually stopped and we would have started to become the close friends we are today. But I didn't know him well at the time, and to me he just seemed like another bully with a bone to pick. Why was it always me?

Because of this, and the fact that I still was pretty closed off to anyone who said anything that embarrassed me or hurt intentionally, I felt immediate dislike for Morgan, my observation and beginners profiling skills refusing to tell myself that he was actually a nice guy, and just over-reacting for the joke of it, and not completely at my expense. I should have also been prepared for the fact that other agents wouldn't think too kindly of a man who got into the BAU purely out of abundance of intellect. Especially since intellect isn't measured by appearances. You see a muscular guy on the street with dark shades, a dark jacket and business pants; one of the first thoughts that would come to your mind would be FBI. I was the exact opposite, scrawny, sweater-vest wearing and young. It was sure to leave some disbelieving my claim as an agent.

But like I said, I hadn't really prepared for that. I was too worried about making a good impression to realize why it would be so much harder for me to.  
And it only made me angry.

"Look, Agent… Morgan." I snapped, surprised at my sudden confidence and lack of stuttering. I have eventually found I work best under pressure, and when the guy I'm confronting isn't about to beat me up for wearing glasses.

"I've had enough of people like you from where I grew up in and went to school. I don't need any of this now." I turned to Hotch, who hadn't even answered Morgan's question yet. "So I'm supposed to review files or something? I can get started right now."

Morgan blinked a few times, before frowning slightly. I must have hurt his feelings when I said people like him. He obviously didn't know what I meant, and might be interpreting it differently then I originally intended. Look at me now mom, the great Spencer Reid, the genius who hurts bullies feelings. I didn't really feel too guilty at that moment though, and when an apologetic J.J. dropped a stack of folders on my desk, I readily jumped right into them. I felt a twinge of satisfaction as the three agents watched in astonishment as I furiously skimmed the pages, processing the pages faster than you can say "genius".

But as the day grew later, and the pile diminished almost completely, I began to have second opinions on the confrontation with Morgan. What if he had been merely joking? I hadn't given him enough time to finish his little routine, and maybe it would have ended up that he was just clowning around. I pushed these thoughts aside, desperately just trying to forget. I didn't ask for any of this…

A voice behind me almost made me jump out of my skin. I was pulled from my thoughts and my work instantly, and whirled around in my chair to face Gideon. After I calmed down I asked him, feeling really foolish, "What did you say?"

Gideon shook his head, and said, "Man Spencer, you really get in the zone." I didn't bother asking him what that meant.

"I was just wondering if you were ok."  
My brain went into auto-defense mode. "I'm fine."

He studied me closely, and I tried my best to hide my internal thoughts. I must have been pretty good at it, because Gideon gave up and said, "Morgan's a good guy. Just give it time."  
I shrugged nonchalantly, but my mind was screaming, 'That's just what I need to do. Give the bully time to find a good way to smash my head in for kicks.'

Suddenly Hotch came down from his office and interrupted our conversation. "Guys, we've got a case. Reid, I know it's your first day, but we'll need you to come with us." And with that he headed off to the bullpen, Morgan in tow. Gideon sighed, and started to follow Hotch into the room. Before we went in, he whispered to me, "You better prepare yourself for this."  
I nodded, I knew how gruesome killings could be, but I was not going to look weak, not now. I readied myself as I entered the room and took a seat in one of the chairs facing the projection screen. But as I found out, none of my education could have prepared me for this. Not something so real, and happening at this moment.

J.J. walked into the room as everyone entered, and as the first picture popped onto the screen, I fought to keep in my nausea.

It was a middle aged man, brutally beat up and tortured, barely recognizable as human. There was burn marks all over his decaying skin, and his eyes beheld a look of pure horror and agony. Those eyes would stay with me for years to come.  
And by the identification of the body, J.J. announced that this man was a cop.

**I hope I made this seem believable! Reviews are appreciated :D**


	3. The Profile

**Finally another update! I'll try to update when I can, I have a lot of stuff to do during the week, so I can't promise anything soon. That and I like for an idea to set in before I jump at it. Thank you for all of the comments on the last chapter, and I will try to use the critiques to become a better writer. As for one of the questions that popped up, yes, Reid is reflecting on what's going on only so you can tell it's not OC, he's sort of explaining his behavior to make it seem more realistic, and I just seem to write in that way all the time.**

**Please enjoy this next chapter! I do not own Criminal Minds… But I have the DVDs!**

I stared at the picture in horror. I should have been used to this by now, I had seen many pictures like this one when Gideon had been lecturing at my school, as well as in some of the case files I was typing up and organizing. But this one was different... the killer, whoever was capable of doing something like this, he or she was still out there.

And by the next two pictures, it proved they could kill again.

"The first victim was found dumped in the woods in a park reserve, and the other two were found closer to the town, but still far enough that no one who wasn't looking for them could find them."

The people in the room quickly digested this information, before Hotch interrupted, "Then how were the bodies found?"

I was surprised by his interruption, but realized that this must be normal, since no one else seemed to notice. So instead, I listened intently to J.J.'s explanation. "Park ranger, he stumbled upon the oldest, and when the police arrived they located the other two."

"How long had the victims been missing?" It was Gideon's turn to ask a question.

"Each body is only one week apart from the next. The first one went missing about a month ago."

That's all Gideon needed to hear. "And for all we know, he's got a new victim and is about to kill again." J.J. nodded, and Gideon then continued, "Alright, looks like we've got a case. We better get headed to New Jersey."

Then Morgan suddenly piped up, "But how are we sure that the guy's going to kill again? Maybe he was finished after the third victim."

This time, to everyone's surprise, it was me who responded. "Judging by the look of the second two in comparison to the first victim, the burn marks are exactly the same down the arms and legs. The killer has planned out what he wants to do with his victims, but may not even realize he's killing different people and just living out some fantasy. That and the fact that they are getting dumped closer to the town begins to make me think that our killer is on a mission and getting more and more bold. That being said, since the chance of someone murdering again is nearly 90% under almost any circumstance, yes, there is a pretty good chance they're going to kill again."

Morgan and J.J. seemed a bit taken aback, but Hotch and Gideon acted as if they heard me spurt out information on high speed every day. Well, Gideon did at least. Instead he said, "Couldn't have said it better myself, Dr. Reid."

A small smile played on Morgan's face and I had to wonder if he was about to make some stupid remark to me. But instead, he said, "Ok kid, don't blow a gasket, you've convinced me."

Gideon clapped his hands together in an almost eager gesture, but his eyes looked tired and somber. "Alright then team, get what you need and we'll meet up at the jet."

I walked rather briskly to my desk, thankful for once that I had over packed. Anything else I would need would be at a hotel, and I had already packed a go-bag due to Gideon's warning of sudden cases. I emptied my satchel out and put in only some necessities, and I will admit I added a bit more to that too… but you can never be too prepared. It seemed to take only seconds for us to all meet on the jet together.

I don't think I've ever been inside a nicer looking plane, and I hadn't expected it to look like much to begin with. But our private jet had couch-like seats and even tables, giving the area a warm and room-like appearance. Morgan settled in one corner and popped headphones into his ears while flipping through some of the case files, Gideon and Hotch sat opposite at a table, quietly discussing their opinions, and I took out a file quite like Morgan's and began to read through the information as I sat down in another open chair close to Gideon's. I was so absorbed in the text and photographs that I didn't hear Hotch when he addressed me. I looked up, somewhat embarrassed, and asked, "Huh?"

"Gideon and I were starting to profile our UnSub, and we want everyone to hear it so far." I noticed that J.J. was paying attention to the two older men and Morgan had taken out his headphones and was staring intently at Hotch.

"But if we haven't even gotten to New Jersey yet, how can we even know how to start profiling?" I asked, confused.

"The best profiles are the ones we get before we become too familiar with the area." Gideon replied. Then he continued, "So far we believe that our killer has to be a very strong, well-built Caucasian male in his late thirties. There are no signs of struggle, so we suspect that he may know the men he's killed, or at least has a friendly air about him that makes people automatically trust him."

Morgan nodded at this, and then added, "He also seems to be very fond of torturing the victims, which makes it seem as though each kill is considered personal."

"So he has something against cops…?" I questioned out loud, mostly to myself. "Maybe some kind of incident made him hateful towards police officers."

"Could be our stressor." Hotch agreed.

"That's good so far, we don't want to get too far ahead of ourselves." Gideon said, and looked out his window. "We'll land soon; I want us to hit the ground running on this one. If the public finds out too much information about these killings, we're going to be in for a tough ride. Police officer murders are never fun."

"No murders are ever fun." Morgan put in solemnly. We all agreed to that, and sat for a moment in silence, before Morgan put his headphones back into his ears. I went back to the files, and was just getting absorbed in them until I heard a small whisper from Hotch.

"You think he'll be OK Jason?" Hotch asked quietly, probably thinking I couldn't hear him. "He DID just join today." 

I didn't hear Gideon's reply, he seemed to be a better whisperer than Hotch. But I didn't really need to. I felt let down by Hotch's comment, I was hoping at least one other member of the team thought I was ready for this.

'Well,' I just thought hopefully to myself, 'I guess I'm going to just have to prove them wrong.'

**Sorry if this was a bit boring, but we have to develop the murder's character too ;)  
Hope you like this update, thanks for sticking with my story!**


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